Do extremists know they are extreme?

The 2012 election came out like I expected. Everything pointed to the reelection of Barack Obama. As far as I could tell, most of the people around me -- whether they were for or against the President's positions -- seemed to think he would serve a second four years as well.

I don't watch FOX News because I don't want to hear the oddball and often hurtful conversations that they consider "fair and balanced." I don't watch MSNBC for similar reasons. Although I spend a reasonable amount of time on Facebook and Twitter -- and I love a thoughtful conversation where people from various backgrounds throw in their ideas, I can only tolerate so much when Americans attack other Americans. So if someone speaks disparagingly about Nancy Pelosi or John McCain as people, I tend to "unlike" him. These habits prevented me from being prepared for the shock and dismay that those who fall to the right experienced last month.

For one thing, I couldn't understand conservative surprise. The world has been changing for years -- I remember Bill Clinton's desire to have a cabinet -- and by extension -- a government that looked like the people it governed. That was 1992 -- the year before the first Jurassic Park movie came out. He chose some blacks, some women, some Hispanics, some gays -- and lots of white guys. Another generation has grown up and their children are now of voting age. They are used to openly gay people. They are used to racially mixed activities. Young women make different choices than I might have back in 1968--and they expect equal treatment under the law and in business. Many of our young people -- male and female -- black and white and red and yellow -- Democratic and Republican -- Gay and Straight -- religious or not -- have been to war...multiple times. US citizenship is as prized as it has always been -- and as a result, we have multiple immigrant communities who add their ideas, values, and hard work to the voting mix. In fact, it seems that white guy dominance in the electorate is eroding and has been for a long long time. As the campaigns progressed throughout the summer, it became painfully clear that the Republican message did not recognize this new reality. It also did not seem to reflect the intellectual, generous, and empathetic nature of the conservatives that I know.

Maybe it's because we live in a noisy world. We have to filter what we read, watch, and hear in order to get through the day. And maybe it's only human to let in those things that confirm what we already think we know and to dismiss those things we already dislike. It's a scary thought. How much important information am I missing in the clutter? How far from reality are my own truths? Do people who live in igloos think the whole world is icy? Do city folk imagine the whole country is made up of skyscrapers and brownstones?

Regardless, the one thing that took me aback was the anger felt by some. Perhaps it was caused by cognitive dissonance--expecting and believing in a result that didn't happen. I can understand disappointment. However, the talk of secession from the Union made me sad because for the most part, I LIKE my fellow Americans, regardless of their political or religious opinions -- and I LOVE my country, including the form of government. I like the idea of pooling our resources to support and expand our infrastructure. I love private enterprise -- where both small and large businesses provide jobs, products, and investor returns to our people. I LIKE compromise -- where multiple perspectives are considered when decisions that impact all of us are made. I really like the Judiciary where those decisions are evaluated and compared to the Constitution. I like that they have to provide us with a written explanation of their reasoning...and that that explanation can lead to a refinement of law. I like the Executive Branch as well...and whether I agree with the person in that role or not, I understand what a thankless job it is...and appreciate those who put their personal lives on hold to step up and do this for us. I also appreciate those who implement  decisions made on our behalf -- the Military, the Intelligence Community, those who make sure that our food is pure, our drugs are effective and safe, and our air is breathable. I respect those who focus on our money and those who enforce our laws -- and those who deliver our mail. Government is made up of millions of hardworking people who do things for us that we can't or don't do for ourselves. They are not the enemy... nor are those folks who are so angry right now.

Recently, I signed up for Ancestry.com. My grandfather's murder in 1962 led to a split in our family and I lost much of our history. One of the first things I discovered was that my grandfather's great grandfather was also murdered during the Pope County Militia Wars in Arkansas -- during the Reconstruction years. Two murders in the same line within three generations. It struck me once again how quickly angry language can turn to tragedy.  Do we know that our feelings are extreme until we have already crossed a line? Do extremists EVER know they are extreme -- or do they always believe that the other guy is?

And THAT reminded me of the 50th Anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg.

In 1913, many of the veterans of the battle returned to Gettysburg. They were the youngest and luckiest of those who fought there ... but now they were old. North and South attended the ceremonies and sat down to talk with each other. Sometime during the festivities, they decided to reenact Pickett's Charge. The old Yankees lined up on Cemetery Ridge and the old Rebels lined up on Seminary Ridge. Slowly, the former Confederates started across the long field converging on the Angle as they had in 1863. As they marched, shoulder to shoulder, they got their dander up again. As they crossed Emmetsburg Road, onlookers feared that the two lines of elderly men would actually come to blows.

But then, after being reminded of the bitter fight that defined their youth, the wisdom of their maturity kicked in. And the two sides embraced... and a photographer caught that moment.

The surviving veterans met again in 1938 to dedicate the Gettysburg Peace Memorial and to light the eternal flame.

Here is a video of the two reunions..


Seems like families can crush each other more than outside enemies...harsh words wound profoundly...

I pray we can still find it in our hearts to reach across the stone wall to embrace each other--and respect each other -- and to find ways of working together to solve our common problems.